That Time I Took My Toddler to Europe

I took my toddler to Europe, and it was terrifying. The funny thing is, the most terrifying part was before we even left the U.S. The planning, the packing, the mentally preparing—I managed to work myself into quite a frenzy while we were still on American soil.

But between the eight-hour flight to London (and back), various trains and apartments and countless Uber rides, temper tantrums and idyllic moments, we managed to have one of the most memorable, significant, and fun experiences of our young family's life.

I'm not here to write a how-to guide, but I'd like to share a few lessons we learned along the way. If nothing else, I hope it'll give a few other nervous parents out there the confidence to keep traveling—even if it's a little harder and a lot different than traveling pre-baby.

Lesson 1: Planes + Trains = Good. Cars = Bad

Obviously this will vary based on the kid, but our toughest travel moments involved cars. The flights to and from London were challenging, but not as bad as I'd feared. Between naps, snacking, and a whole lot of distracting, we managed to keep Oliver pretty happy in the air. Trains were also fine, because we could move around and he could climb on the seats when he got antsy. Don't get me wrong: We were exhausted when we arrived at our destinations. It took a constant effort to keep him happy. But we managed to walk away mostly unscathed.

Not so much with our car rides. It turns out that strapping an overtired one-year-old into a car seat to sit in horrific traffic in an overpriced cab is not a good idea for anyone involved. Likewise, when we rented a car in Avignon with visions of happily bopping around Provence, we didn't imagine they'd give us a too-small car seat and our baby would scream endlessly anytime we strapped him in. And when we finally arrived back stateside, Oli wailed for the entire two-hour drive home from D.C.

The only exception here is Uber, which saved our tired butts on more than one occasion in Paris. It helped that car seats aren't required in the city, although that did make riding in a stranger's car a little bit terrifying. Thankfully, Paris traffic kept things moving slow enough to feel pretty safe in the backseat.

Lesson learned: We were happiest when we could get around on two feet, whether exploring the shops and parks of our Paris neighborhood or traipsing around Hampstead Heath outside of London. Bonus: Oli often napped in his stroller or Bjorn. 

Lesson 2: Pack light. And then leave half of that at home.

I really tried not to overpack. I even bought a new bag that I thought could fit all of our stuff for the trip. But then I also bought a travel crib, and a travel high chair, and we each brought a carry-on (including one for the baby), and Todd brought a big bag of gear for a tournament, and then of course there was the stroller. And suddenly, we were a traveling circus.

Oli barely slept in the crib, preferring to sleep in bed with us instead. We never used the high chair, although it did get us stopped at security several times. I didn't use the big stack of pajamas I'd packed for him—he slept in T-shirts and a diaper because it was hot. And I didn't use the rain boots I'd bought just for London, because it never rained. 

Needless to say, having so much stuff made any travel day a complete logistical nightmare. It was also so unnecessary. Besides not using so much of the stuff, we could have gotten by with so much less because I made sure to book apartments with washer-dryers.

Lesson 3: Stick to the cities. 

Again, this is probably a matter of personal preference and has a lot to do with your kid's tolerance of cars/travel. But we fared best in Paris, where our apartment was perfectly situated in Le Marais, surrounded by restaurants, shops, parks, and everything we needed. Our week there was nearly perfect, filled with good food, leisurely strolls, and genuine interactions with friendly Parisians young and old.

Our London apartment was in Hampstead, which is a few miles (and a long Tube ride) from the city center. The village itself was lovely and we enjoyed exploring it, but when we actually went into London, the time it took to walk to the Tube stop, take a train or two to our destination, then walk around the sprawling city totally wiped us out. 

One of the lowest moments of the trip happened when we tried—twice—to go to the Tate Modern. The first time, Oli wouldn't stop screaming, so we took a walk over the Millennium Bridge while he calmed down. We went back in to try again and didn't fare much better. Worn out from an already full day of exploring, we tried to grab a cab back to our apartment and were told it would cost about 50 pounds for the short ride. We opted to take the Tube back in rush hour and it was fairly miserable.

Avignon also didn't work out as well as we'd hoped. We rented an apartment in this amazing villa overlooking the town, which we planned to make our base for exploring Provence. We thought it would be fun to relax for a few days in a quieter setting after the bustle of the city—and it was truly lovely—but getting anywhere turned out to be a real chore due to the aforementioned car challenges. We ended up feeling a bit trapped in our castle.

Lesson 4: Find a good home base. 

I am so glad we rented apartments (through Airbnb) rather than hotel rooms. We actually stayed in a hotel in D.C. the night before our flight, and just the short time we were in the room was miserable. I spent a lot of time finding apartments that had at least one bedroom (no lofts or studios), laundry facilities, a kitchen, and a bathtub. I also looked for spaces that were attractive, conveniently located, and well-reviewed. I loved all of the spots we rented, and they added so much to our trip (even if a couple of them could have been more walkable). 

Lesson 5: Manage your expectations. 

Going into this trip, I didn't expect it to be easy. I didn't expect us to eat at a lot of restaurants, or go to a lot of museums, or have a relaxing time. It would have been disastrous if we'd tried to take Oli to fancy bistros or the Louvre. Instead, we explored parks, moseyed around quiet neighborhoods, and had picnics. Some of our most memorable meals were in our apartment in Paris, pieced together with goodies from nearby markets and eaten standing up with Oli running between our legs. 

Lesson 6: Breastfeeding abroad sucks. 

I thought breastfeeding might make traveling easier—after all, we wouldn't have to worry about what he'd eat, and it's an easy way to get him to sleep. But finding places where I felt comfortable nursing while exploring was rarely easy—and I have nursed in some pretty public places. There were many frustrating moments when Oli was hungry and fussy and my boobs were sore but I just couldn't find a place to do the deed. I ended up nursing on a toilet more than once, which is a dehumanizing experience, even if it is hidden away in a beautiful British museum.

Lesson 7: Babies bounce back. 

Every day, I was so surprised and impressed with how Oli handled what we threw at him. He napped in some crazy places. He stayed happy despite our bonkers schedule. He tried new foods and made new friends everywhere we went. (Watching him kick a soccer ball with some French schoolkids in the Tuileries was one of my absolute favorite moments.) When we were tired and ready to throw in the towel, he was smiling and encouraging us to keep going.

Parenting isn't always easy, and that's true whether you're at home or thousands of miles away. At home, you'll face challenges like how to take a shower or how to get the groceries in the house with a one-year-old on your hip. And when you're abroad, you're just facing those challenges in another setting—maybe in another language.

Ultimately, traveling with Oliver brought us all closer together and gave me a lot more confidence as a mom. Would I do it again? Well, we just booked a Barcelona apartment for six weeks this fall—and we can't see wait to see what it's like to travel with a two-year-old!

Planning Our First Big Trip with Baby

via Barefoot Blonde

When Todd told me he might have to go to a tournament in England this summer and asked if I wanted to make a family trip out of it, I don't think he expected me to say yes. Oliver will be barely a year old, and the thought of flying overseas with him is intimidating, for sure.

But then I thought about it: It's not gonna be much easier a year later, when he's a toddler. Or a year after that, when we might have added another kiddo to the mix. Or for several years after that. So do we put travel on hold for the next decade, or do we make it work with our new reality?

We won't be walking for miles and miles each day, or spontaneously dropping into a cafe to share a bottle of wine, or lingering over romantic meals in candlelit bistros. We definitely won't be hopping between destinations every other day, trying to cram as much into our trip as we possibly can. But we're going to keep feeding our love for adventure and travel even if it is a little challenging and inconvenient, and I can't wait to bring Oli along for the ride—even if he won't remember a thing.

At this point, we're planning to do London and a bit of England, Edinburgh, and Paris with maybe a few day trips around France if we're feeling ambitious. As usual, I'm going a little overboard with the planning already, and discovering some distinct differences between trip-planning pre-baby and trip-planning now:

• Travel Time — Our last trip to Europe, we flew to Boston first, then to Paris with a middle-of-the-night layover in Iceland, then to Portugal. Back then, it was worth it to travel as cheaply as possible. Now, I'm more focused on getting there as quickly as possible and minimizing time in the air—which is why I've chosen destinations that are easily accessible via train from London.
• Apartments — We almost always rent apartments rather than hotels when we travel, which makes even more sense now that we have a baby—we need a kitchen, laundry, and room to spread out more than ever. But it's also a little tougher to find baby-friendly places, especially in these old European cities. That fifth-floor walk-up apartment with a creaky balcony may have seemed charming before, but now, all I see is potential danger for the baby. It's also more important to find a nice apartment that we enjoy hanging out in since we will be staying in more than usual due to naps and early bedtimes. (Better to be realistic about our expectations, right?)
• Research — Trip-planning is one of my absolute favorite things to do, and there are a few resources I always fall back on during my research—the New York Times' 36 Hours series, Travel + Leisure, Rick Steves, Anthony Bourdain. But now that we have a baby, so many of the recommended restaurants, stops, and itineraries just aren't practical for us. At the same time, I find most "family travel" articles and websites depressing—I don't want to build this trip around playgrounds and restaurants that serve chicken fingers. It's a little tougher to piece together plans that will work for us, and I realize we're going to have to be a lot more flexible.

The trip is still a ways off, but in the meantime, I'd love to hear all your baby travel tips and any recommendations for the places we'll be visiting!

The Essentials: What You Really Need in Baby's First Month

In my previous post, I shared my "new mama must-haves," highlighting some of the products that have helped us get through this first month of little Oliver's life. But the truth is, none of these are truly necessities—if you don't buy a swing or a Wubbanub, for instance, you're going to survive. They're just nice to have.

I've always loved the idea of Finland's government-sponsored maternity packages, which have been distributed to new parents since the 1930s. They include clothing, blankets, toys, and other necessities—baby can even sleep in the box! With that in mind, I thought I'd write a follow-up with the items that have been truly necessary for us—and those that aren't.

Things We Used 

• Blankets — These are strewn all over our house. These include large muslin swaddles, small felt blankets, and big fuzzy blankets. We throw them down for tummy time, wrap him up when he's fussy, and cover his car seat when he's sleeping. 
• Burp cloths — For nursing sessions and the occasional spit-up, you'll want these close at hand—which is why we also have these hanging out all over the house. We just bought a 10-pack of plain cloth diapers, which are super absorbent.
• Pacifiers — I realize some parents choose not to use pacifiers, but they really do soothe him when nothing else will. Also, I like the idea of controlling the situation as opposed to letting baby control things via thumb/finger sucking. (I've seen way too many kids carry on that habit way too long). That said, the cheapies are just as good as the expensive blogger-favorite Natursutten.
• Breast pump (manual and electric) — I've really appreciated being able to pump and allow Todd to take on feeding duties, especially at night. It gives him a chance to bond with Oli, too. The electric pump gets things done quickly, but the manual is key if you're out and about and need to relieve pressure (as I learned the hard way). 

Things We Didn't Use

• Cute clothes — When you're changing baby's diaper 10+ times per day, you don't want to be messing with excessive layers, buttons or snaps—or even pants. That's why Oli has basically lived in onesies. I do look forward to putting him in separates soon, though.
• Cloth diapers — Besides the fact that his Bumgenius diapers are way too big for him (even at 10 pounds), we've decided to wait until he's stopped peeing and pooping so much to start cloth diapering.
• Dr. Brown's bottle — Now, some parents/babies might love these bottles, but the point is, Oliver didn't, so I'm glad I didn't get one of the packs with multiple bottles that we registered for. Instead, I bought a few different styles to try out and we found one that he really likes.
• Wipe warmer — He really doesn't seem to care if his wipes are warm.
• Bottle warmer — Place it in warm water for a few minutes and you're done.

Traveling with Baby: Finding Inspiration from the Pros

There's a lot to worry about when it comes to having a first baby, so it might seem frivolous that one of my concerns has been travel. Will we ever travel again? Will it be enjoyable with kids, or will it be a nightmare? How do you even fly, drive in a foreign country, or eat at a restaurant with a baby? It's seriously unfamiliar territory that seriously stresses me out.

The thing is, I think Todd and I have gotten pretty good at traveling over the last few years, and we've been lucky enough to take some amazing trips. I hate to think that those days could be behind us. In fact, I refuse to accept it—despite what some parents are quick to tell me.

For every parent out there who tells us to kiss our days of fun and travel goodbye, I've found someone else who's making it work—and who's eager to share their tips for successfully traveling with kids. Ultimately, I know we'll have to find our way, and eventually I hope to offer my own voice to this dialogue, but for now, these are the bloggers and posts that are making me believe that we just might be able to have some adventure in our lives—even with a baby in tow.

What kind of crazy person would take two toddlers to Mexico City? Ashley from Hither and Thither, that's who—and probably Todd and I, within the next few years. Whether headed to Italy or Paris, she's honest about the challenges of traveling with kids, but she also offers solid advice for making it work—and even enjoying the experience.

Fact: My life will never be as glamorous and travel-filled as Amber's from Barefoot Blonde. But while she seems to have unlimited vacation time and a travel budget to match, she also offers some valuable insight into seeing the world with babes. I like her attitude on using travel to create stronger, more open-minded kids and to bring the family closer together.

Naomi of Love Taza is one of those perpetually cheerful mommy bloggers that haters love to hate. She's got three little ones, she lives in a shoebox-sized NYC apartment, and she's still always smiling. She also travels often with her brood, and she's created some inspirational videos and posts about their experiences. This one has a lot of useful tips.

This Mother Mag post on traveling to Tulum with a baby inspired what I hope will be one of our first trips with our son. I'm already browsing hotels in Tulum for the winter.

I also love Chelsea's (Lovely Indeed) Tulum travel guide, which has great tips for the area whether you're traveling with a kid or not.

Joanna at Cup of Jo has shared several posts on traveling with kids, including this oldie but goodie on flying with a baby. I also love this guest post on vacationing in Positano with a bunch of kids.

Megan from The Fresh Exchange is a new mom who's inspired me with her travels since long before she was pregnant. Now she's sharing her experiences seeing the world with her baby boy. So much sweetness.