That Time I Took My Toddler to Europe

I took my toddler to Europe, and it was terrifying. The funny thing is, the most terrifying part was before we even left the U.S. The planning, the packing, the mentally preparing—I managed to work myself into quite a frenzy while we were still on American soil.

But between the eight-hour flight to London (and back), various trains and apartments and countless Uber rides, temper tantrums and idyllic moments, we managed to have one of the most memorable, significant, and fun experiences of our young family's life.

I'm not here to write a how-to guide, but I'd like to share a few lessons we learned along the way. If nothing else, I hope it'll give a few other nervous parents out there the confidence to keep traveling—even if it's a little harder and a lot different than traveling pre-baby.

Lesson 1: Planes + Trains = Good. Cars = Bad

Obviously this will vary based on the kid, but our toughest travel moments involved cars. The flights to and from London were challenging, but not as bad as I'd feared. Between naps, snacking, and a whole lot of distracting, we managed to keep Oliver pretty happy in the air. Trains were also fine, because we could move around and he could climb on the seats when he got antsy. Don't get me wrong: We were exhausted when we arrived at our destinations. It took a constant effort to keep him happy. But we managed to walk away mostly unscathed.

Not so much with our car rides. It turns out that strapping an overtired one-year-old into a car seat to sit in horrific traffic in an overpriced cab is not a good idea for anyone involved. Likewise, when we rented a car in Avignon with visions of happily bopping around Provence, we didn't imagine they'd give us a too-small car seat and our baby would scream endlessly anytime we strapped him in. And when we finally arrived back stateside, Oli wailed for the entire two-hour drive home from D.C.

The only exception here is Uber, which saved our tired butts on more than one occasion in Paris. It helped that car seats aren't required in the city, although that did make riding in a stranger's car a little bit terrifying. Thankfully, Paris traffic kept things moving slow enough to feel pretty safe in the backseat.

Lesson learned: We were happiest when we could get around on two feet, whether exploring the shops and parks of our Paris neighborhood or traipsing around Hampstead Heath outside of London. Bonus: Oli often napped in his stroller or Bjorn. 

Lesson 2: Pack light. And then leave half of that at home.

I really tried not to overpack. I even bought a new bag that I thought could fit all of our stuff for the trip. But then I also bought a travel crib, and a travel high chair, and we each brought a carry-on (including one for the baby), and Todd brought a big bag of gear for a tournament, and then of course there was the stroller. And suddenly, we were a traveling circus.

Oli barely slept in the crib, preferring to sleep in bed with us instead. We never used the high chair, although it did get us stopped at security several times. I didn't use the big stack of pajamas I'd packed for him—he slept in T-shirts and a diaper because it was hot. And I didn't use the rain boots I'd bought just for London, because it never rained. 

Needless to say, having so much stuff made any travel day a complete logistical nightmare. It was also so unnecessary. Besides not using so much of the stuff, we could have gotten by with so much less because I made sure to book apartments with washer-dryers.

Lesson 3: Stick to the cities. 

Again, this is probably a matter of personal preference and has a lot to do with your kid's tolerance of cars/travel. But we fared best in Paris, where our apartment was perfectly situated in Le Marais, surrounded by restaurants, shops, parks, and everything we needed. Our week there was nearly perfect, filled with good food, leisurely strolls, and genuine interactions with friendly Parisians young and old.

Our London apartment was in Hampstead, which is a few miles (and a long Tube ride) from the city center. The village itself was lovely and we enjoyed exploring it, but when we actually went into London, the time it took to walk to the Tube stop, take a train or two to our destination, then walk around the sprawling city totally wiped us out. 

One of the lowest moments of the trip happened when we tried—twice—to go to the Tate Modern. The first time, Oli wouldn't stop screaming, so we took a walk over the Millennium Bridge while he calmed down. We went back in to try again and didn't fare much better. Worn out from an already full day of exploring, we tried to grab a cab back to our apartment and were told it would cost about 50 pounds for the short ride. We opted to take the Tube back in rush hour and it was fairly miserable.

Avignon also didn't work out as well as we'd hoped. We rented an apartment in this amazing villa overlooking the town, which we planned to make our base for exploring Provence. We thought it would be fun to relax for a few days in a quieter setting after the bustle of the city—and it was truly lovely—but getting anywhere turned out to be a real chore due to the aforementioned car challenges. We ended up feeling a bit trapped in our castle.

Lesson 4: Find a good home base. 

I am so glad we rented apartments (through Airbnb) rather than hotel rooms. We actually stayed in a hotel in D.C. the night before our flight, and just the short time we were in the room was miserable. I spent a lot of time finding apartments that had at least one bedroom (no lofts or studios), laundry facilities, a kitchen, and a bathtub. I also looked for spaces that were attractive, conveniently located, and well-reviewed. I loved all of the spots we rented, and they added so much to our trip (even if a couple of them could have been more walkable). 

Lesson 5: Manage your expectations. 

Going into this trip, I didn't expect it to be easy. I didn't expect us to eat at a lot of restaurants, or go to a lot of museums, or have a relaxing time. It would have been disastrous if we'd tried to take Oli to fancy bistros or the Louvre. Instead, we explored parks, moseyed around quiet neighborhoods, and had picnics. Some of our most memorable meals were in our apartment in Paris, pieced together with goodies from nearby markets and eaten standing up with Oli running between our legs. 

Lesson 6: Breastfeeding abroad sucks. 

I thought breastfeeding might make traveling easier—after all, we wouldn't have to worry about what he'd eat, and it's an easy way to get him to sleep. But finding places where I felt comfortable nursing while exploring was rarely easy—and I have nursed in some pretty public places. There were many frustrating moments when Oli was hungry and fussy and my boobs were sore but I just couldn't find a place to do the deed. I ended up nursing on a toilet more than once, which is a dehumanizing experience, even if it is hidden away in a beautiful British museum.

Lesson 7: Babies bounce back. 

Every day, I was so surprised and impressed with how Oli handled what we threw at him. He napped in some crazy places. He stayed happy despite our bonkers schedule. He tried new foods and made new friends everywhere we went. (Watching him kick a soccer ball with some French schoolkids in the Tuileries was one of my absolute favorite moments.) When we were tired and ready to throw in the towel, he was smiling and encouraging us to keep going.

Parenting isn't always easy, and that's true whether you're at home or thousands of miles away. At home, you'll face challenges like how to take a shower or how to get the groceries in the house with a one-year-old on your hip. And when you're abroad, you're just facing those challenges in another setting—maybe in another language.

Ultimately, traveling with Oliver brought us all closer together and gave me a lot more confidence as a mom. Would I do it again? Well, we just booked a Barcelona apartment for six weeks this fall—and we can't see wait to see what it's like to travel with a two-year-old!

The One Weird Thing I Always Bring to an Airbnb

Our Montmartre Airbnb from 2015 ($75/night!)

Most well-run Airbnbs provide the basics for guests—linens, toiletries, coffee/tea, etc. But there's one thing I always make sure to pack, even though it's often included:

A sponge!

Yes, there's probably already a sponge hanging out in your rental's kitchen, but you literally have no idea how old it is, and whether the previous guest used it to scrub the floor or sop up chicken juice. Not to mention kitchen sponges are known to be some of the dirtiest items in people's homes—even dirtier than toilets.

I buy the pop-up sponges from Trader Joe's, so it's easy to toss a few in my bag.

What about you—do you pack anything weird when renting an apartment?

Oliver's Birth Story

When I was pregnant with Oliver, I read so many women's birth stories, searching for clues as to what I could expect in the delivery room. Of course, every woman's story was different, and my own was nothing like I expected.

I didn't plan to share our story on the blog, but as the first six months have zoomed by, my memories are already getting foggy, so I decided to write them down. I doubt this will interest anyone but maybe a few expectant mothers, and to you I just have this to say: Your story won't be anything like mine, but it will be one of the greatest stories of your life—just like mine is.

Oliver's due date came and went at the end of August, and I slogged through each muggy day, feeling desperate for his arrival. My doctor scheduled me for an induction September 6, and up until then I did everything I could to nudge the baby out—long walks, eggplant, herbal teas—you name it. Of course, nothing worked. We woke up at 5 a.m. on Induction Day and drove to the hospital, where I was checked in and shown to my room in the delivery ward.

My nurse came in and introduced herself—she was a soft-spoken redhead named Melissa. She gave me a gown to change into, brought me some juice, and answered my nervous questions as I crawled into bed and she hooked me up to the Pitocin drip, which was supposed to kick-start my contractions. If all went well, she said, I'd be holding my son by dinner time. I prepared myself for the intense contractions Pitocin is said to cause. But nothing happened.

Hours passed. I heard women in labor screaming in other rooms as I traced a small path up and down the hallway, awkwardly dragging the heavy cart with my fluids behind me. My doctor stopped in several times to check on my progress—though my discomfort had increased, I had dilated very little. They kept upping the dosage of Pitocin, and I started to swell up like a balloon animal. Todd and I played cards to pass the time.

When my doctor came in at 5 p.m., she breezily recommended that I prepare myself for a C-section. I cried after she left the room, feeling that the entire day had been in vain. Melissa unhooked me from the fluids for the first time that day and told me to go get something to eat (also for the first time that day). Todd and I slowly walked down to the cafeteria, where I got a sub and some ice cream. When we returned to my room and they checked me, I had dilated just enough for my doctor to feel comfortable continuing with the "natural" birth approach—natural being Pitocin-induced. I got back into bed, and Melissa hooked me up to the fluids again.

As my doctor went home for the evening and Melissa's shift ended, I met my night nurse and doctor. Surely they'd be the ones to help me welcome my son into the world? I prepared myself for action. And sure enough, my contractions quickly intensified, and as the hours passed, I experienced regular waves of full-body pain. At some point after midnight, I told the nurse I was ready for some help with the pain, and she hooked me up to yet another drip. I passed out immediately, and blissfully, yet stayed conscious just enough to hear the beat of Oliver's heart on the heart rate monitor. If it slowed or stopped at any point, I'd wake myself slightly until it got normal again. When the pain meds wore off several hours later, I had dilated quite a bit more, the pain was intense, and I was ready for my epidural.

The anesthesiologist entered the room, and I was instructed to sit on the edge of my bed, leaning over. Todd held my hands as the doctor stuck a giant needle into my spine—I didn't watch, but Todd's eyes told me everything I needed to know. The bottom half of my body went numb, and the nurse helped me lay down on my side—and periodically helped me switch sides. I'd heard that I wouldn't feel any pain after the epidural—just pressure. Unfortunately, that wasn't true for me. I laid in bed bracing myself against the waves of pain, wondering how horrible it would feel without the epidural.

Eventually my night nurse left, and Melissa returned, surprised to see me still there. I was beyond exhausted, but happy to see her sweet face. She told me I was close, then told me how to breathe through the pain, and how to time my contractions so I could tell when it was time to really push. It was then that I learned that pushing a baby out uses the same muscles as pooping, when she told me to push as if I was taking the biggest BM of my life anytime I felt a contraction. My fears of pooping during childbirth intensified. With that, she left the room and told me to call her in when I was ready.

When the pain got dizzying, and the contractions got very close together, I told Todd to get Melissa in there—now. She checked me and confirmed that I was ready to go. She sat on one side of me and instructed Todd to get in position on the other side. Todd and I had both expected him to sit quietly beside me without too much involvement in the action, but that wasn't the case. He was very involved, whether we liked it or not. He and Melissa held my legs up as I pushed hard against their hands through each contraction. I tried not to feel self-conscious, but I was at first, and I didn't push as hard as I should have. Still, it only seemed like a few minutes before my doctor came in and donned her gloves, ready for the final moments. I couldn't believe it when they told me it had been an hour and a half.

It was right around lunchtime, and I wanted to scream as several other nurses entered the room for assistance and started chatting about their lunch as I laid there spread-eagled, pushing as hard as I could. Instead, I worked hard to center myself, to strengthen myself, each push getting me closer to meeting my son after 42 long weeks and however many hours of labor. His head started to appear—I felt its searing pain, but as I watched the shock on Todd's face I couldn't help but feel a little bit amused. The head was the hardest, most painful part—once that was out, it just took one more big push for the rest of his body to slither out like a wet frog.

They immediately placed him onto my chest, and I struggled to focus through the pain, craning my neck down to see him while trying to catch my breath. I reached up and felt his tiny slippery body as he started to cry, and somehow I moved him to my breast and he immediately started to nurse. I felt so grateful that he latched on so naturally. I tried not to fall asleep as I cradled him. We laid like that for over an hour. I was barely aware of the cleanup going on around me, the stitches, or when they took him away for a moment to weigh him and make sure he was alright. I was told that he was in perfect health, and again I felt so relieved.

Before having Oliver, I didn't know if I could do it. I didn't know if I was strong enough for childbirth. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but I would do it again in a heartbeat—and in fact, I do hope to do it again one day, if I'm lucky enough to bring a sibling into the world for Oli. I have a newfound admiration and understanding of my own mother, and all the other moms out there that I know. Pregnancy and childbirth is the most insane experience—I can't think of a better word. And I don't think you can truly comprehend how insane it is until you've gone through it. As painful as it was, I feel so lucky that I got to experience it.

8 Non-Frumpy One-Piece Swimsuits

OK, so you don't actually have to be a mom to wear a one-piece swimsuit. Obviously. But that's why, for the first time since I was maybe 5, I'm in the market for something a little more modest than my usual bikini. Maybe something to do with my still-soft belly or the grabby baby who's following me around everywhere. Whether you're in a similar situation, or you just like the look, I'm liking these surprisingly cute alternatives to the ol' two-piecer.

(left to right, top to bottom) 1. Tavik Chase 2. Jessica Simpson Under the Sea 3. Nanette Lepore Mayan Mosaic 4. Beach Riot Bali 5. Billabong Tribe Time 6. Splendid Chambray Cottage 7. Laundry by Shelli Segal Medallion 8. Kate Spade Marina Piccola

Planning Our First Big Trip with Baby

via Barefoot Blonde

When Todd told me he might have to go to a tournament in England this summer and asked if I wanted to make a family trip out of it, I don't think he expected me to say yes. Oliver will be barely a year old, and the thought of flying overseas with him is intimidating, for sure.

But then I thought about it: It's not gonna be much easier a year later, when he's a toddler. Or a year after that, when we might have added another kiddo to the mix. Or for several years after that. So do we put travel on hold for the next decade, or do we make it work with our new reality?

We won't be walking for miles and miles each day, or spontaneously dropping into a cafe to share a bottle of wine, or lingering over romantic meals in candlelit bistros. We definitely won't be hopping between destinations every other day, trying to cram as much into our trip as we possibly can. But we're going to keep feeding our love for adventure and travel even if it is a little challenging and inconvenient, and I can't wait to bring Oli along for the ride—even if he won't remember a thing.

At this point, we're planning to do London and a bit of England, Edinburgh, and Paris with maybe a few day trips around France if we're feeling ambitious. As usual, I'm going a little overboard with the planning already, and discovering some distinct differences between trip-planning pre-baby and trip-planning now:

• Travel Time — Our last trip to Europe, we flew to Boston first, then to Paris with a middle-of-the-night layover in Iceland, then to Portugal. Back then, it was worth it to travel as cheaply as possible. Now, I'm more focused on getting there as quickly as possible and minimizing time in the air—which is why I've chosen destinations that are easily accessible via train from London.
• Apartments — We almost always rent apartments rather than hotels when we travel, which makes even more sense now that we have a baby—we need a kitchen, laundry, and room to spread out more than ever. But it's also a little tougher to find baby-friendly places, especially in these old European cities. That fifth-floor walk-up apartment with a creaky balcony may have seemed charming before, but now, all I see is potential danger for the baby. It's also more important to find a nice apartment that we enjoy hanging out in since we will be staying in more than usual due to naps and early bedtimes. (Better to be realistic about our expectations, right?)
• Research — Trip-planning is one of my absolute favorite things to do, and there are a few resources I always fall back on during my research—the New York Times' 36 Hours series, Travel + Leisure, Rick Steves, Anthony Bourdain. But now that we have a baby, so many of the recommended restaurants, stops, and itineraries just aren't practical for us. At the same time, I find most "family travel" articles and websites depressing—I don't want to build this trip around playgrounds and restaurants that serve chicken fingers. It's a little tougher to piece together plans that will work for us, and I realize we're going to have to be a lot more flexible.

The trip is still a ways off, but in the meantime, I'd love to hear all your baby travel tips and any recommendations for the places we'll be visiting!

The Essentials: What You Really Need in Baby's First Month

In my previous post, I shared my "new mama must-haves," highlighting some of the products that have helped us get through this first month of little Oliver's life. But the truth is, none of these are truly necessities—if you don't buy a swing or a Wubbanub, for instance, you're going to survive. They're just nice to have.

I've always loved the idea of Finland's government-sponsored maternity packages, which have been distributed to new parents since the 1930s. They include clothing, blankets, toys, and other necessities—baby can even sleep in the box! With that in mind, I thought I'd write a follow-up with the items that have been truly necessary for us—and those that aren't.

Things We Used 

• Blankets — These are strewn all over our house. These include large muslin swaddles, small felt blankets, and big fuzzy blankets. We throw them down for tummy time, wrap him up when he's fussy, and cover his car seat when he's sleeping. 
• Burp cloths — For nursing sessions and the occasional spit-up, you'll want these close at hand—which is why we also have these hanging out all over the house. We just bought a 10-pack of plain cloth diapers, which are super absorbent.
• Pacifiers — I realize some parents choose not to use pacifiers, but they really do soothe him when nothing else will. Also, I like the idea of controlling the situation as opposed to letting baby control things via thumb/finger sucking. (I've seen way too many kids carry on that habit way too long). That said, the cheapies are just as good as the expensive blogger-favorite Natursutten.
• Breast pump (manual and electric) — I've really appreciated being able to pump and allow Todd to take on feeding duties, especially at night. It gives him a chance to bond with Oli, too. The electric pump gets things done quickly, but the manual is key if you're out and about and need to relieve pressure (as I learned the hard way). 

Things We Didn't Use

• Cute clothes — When you're changing baby's diaper 10+ times per day, you don't want to be messing with excessive layers, buttons or snaps—or even pants. That's why Oli has basically lived in onesies. I do look forward to putting him in separates soon, though.
• Cloth diapers — Besides the fact that his Bumgenius diapers are way too big for him (even at 10 pounds), we've decided to wait until he's stopped peeing and pooping so much to start cloth diapering.
• Dr. Brown's bottle — Now, some parents/babies might love these bottles, but the point is, Oliver didn't, so I'm glad I didn't get one of the packs with multiple bottles that we registered for. Instead, I bought a few different styles to try out and we found one that he really likes.
• Wipe warmer — He really doesn't seem to care if his wipes are warm.
• Bottle warmer — Place it in warm water for a few minutes and you're done.

My First-Month Mama Must-Haves

When I was still pregnant, I heard so many horror stories about the first few weeks of motherhood. A broken body in recovery. Sleepless nights. A constant barrage of dirty diapers and painful breastfeeding. And while I've experienced all of these things at one point or another, these first weeks have been some of the sweetest of my life. Oliver is a pretty laid-back babe, but I think it's helped so much that we were prepared with lots of gear to get us through the early days. Here are my 10 new mom MVPs:

1. Fisher-Price Cradle 'n' Swing. There are certain times of day when putting Oliver in the swing is the only thing that will calm him down. It allows us to get a bit of work done, too. That said, it's kind of massive, so if you have a smaller house you'll need something more compact.
2. Wubbanub. Newborns are soothed by sucking, and unless you want to use your boobs as a pacifier, you may want to consider giving him an alternative if he gets fussy between feedings. The Wubbanub, a ridiculously named and admittedly overpriced pacifier accessory, helps keep the thing in baby's mouth so you don't constantly have to rush in and replace it when it falls out. It's key for when he's in the swing or car seat (but we don't use it when he's sleeping).
3. Boba wrap. Oliver loves taking walks in the wrap—he usually falls asleep immediately. Also, it's good exercise to walk around with a 10-pound infant strapped to your belly.
4. Bluetooth speaker. Breastfeeding takes up a lot of time, so I set up a little corner with a speaker where I can play music, podcasts etc. It's helped me look forward to "boobie time."
5. Nursing tanks. Whether worn alone or under a shirt, they just make the whole breastfeeding process much more comfortable. I like the ones from H&M.
6. Water bottle. Because breastfeeding makes you ridiculously thirsty.
7. Miracle Blanket. This makes it so easy to swaddle him, which helps him sleep soundly. He starts yawning the moment I start wrapping him, and he's often out by the time I'm done.
8. Not pictured: Sleep Sheep. But any white noise device will do. This is also a really effective way to signal that it's time to sleep.
9. Baby Tracker app. This has been so useful, especially in the early days, for keeping track of feedings and dirty diapers. Without it, I'd be lost because I have no memory for those kinds of things.
10. Cherish the First Six Weeks. I mentioned this book before, but it's been even more helpful now that Oliver's here. It answers so many questions you'll have in the early days and helps you create a non-stressful sleep schedule from day one, which has been crucial for us.

Every parent—and baby—is different, so I'd love to hear: What's on your list?

Baby Books: The Good, the Bad, and the Judgey

Soon after finding out I was pregnant, I did what many women do: I went online and ordered a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting. Then the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, then The Happiest Baby on the Block, then about a dozen more books on pregnancy and babies and parenting.

Yes, I went overboard. I filled my head with so many different facts and philosophies that I didn't know what to think—but ultimately I don't regret it. In a way, it's what I've needed over the last 10 months to help me feel even just a little more confident and educated as I approach my due date. I know some women who didn't crack one book during their pregnancies—and I respect that, too. But if you're interested, these are the books that I most enjoyed—and the ones that I thought were a waste of time.

The Best

The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy — If you want one straightforward, fact-filled pregnancy bible, this is it. I bought both this and the classic What to Expect, and found Mayo to be more straightforward and less judgmental. Todd also enjoyed reading it cover-to-cover—and I'm so glad he did, because my pregnancy-addled brain has struggled with remembering things.

Great with Child: Letters to a Young Mother — This is a light, easy read based around letters written from a poet to her young friend during her first pregnancy. It's sweet and emotional and it made me cry happy tears more than once.

Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong—and What You Really Need to Know — Written by an economist (and new mom), this book looks at the data behind all of the rules imposed on pregnant women—from not eating sushi to not drinking alcohol. It was definitely an interesting read that conflicted with a lot of the leading literature out there, but ultimately I went with my doctor's advice on everything instead of this book.

Cherish the First Six Weeks — At around eight months, I realized I'd mostly only read books on pregnancy, and I didn't feel prepared for actually bringing our little one home. This book set my mind at ease, particularly when it came to calming our babe and (hopefully!) getting him to sleep. It's all about creating a sense of structure early on, which is definitely a philosophy that appeals to both me and Todd.

The Happiest Baby Guide to Great Sleep — This book echoes a lot of the ideas in Cherish, but because it's written by a doctor, it has a bit more of a scientific tone—though still very approachable. You'll learn all about the five S's and how they can be used to calm a baby.

Bringing Up Bebe — I really loved this book, and not just because I secretly wish I was French. Written by an American living with her family in France, it's all about how French parents care for their children from the time they're born (breastfeeding and sleep training) to early childhood (education and discipline). Ultimately, it's a very practical, almost old-fashioned approach to parenting that focuses on mutual respect and independence. It also highlights a lot of problems with American parenting, from dependence on tech devices and overstimulation to the "child king" syndrome. More than anything, this book made me recognize that this is a parenting philosophy I've been piecing together since long before I was pregnant.

The Worst

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding — I bought this later in my pregnancy after getting spooked about how hard breastfeeding could potentially be. This guide from La Leche League just scared me even more with its preachy attitude. I know that "breast is best," and I certainly hope that I'm able to breastfeed my child for a reasonable amount of time, but this book seems to focus on how doing the "wrong" things—getting a C-section, putting your baby on a sleep schedule, stopping breastfeeding before age 2—can scar your baby for life.

From the Hips — A favorite blogger recommended this one, saying it was a more conversational, honest look at pregnancy. Turns out, I hated all of the "real mom" anecdotes and found myself wanting just the facts. Plus, the cluttered layout is high-school-yearbook-ugly.

The Most Surprising Things About (My) Pregnancy

Over the last 8.5 months, my pregnancy has been pretty predictable. I've gotten bigger. I occasionally cry about silly things. I've become obsessed with baby clothes and supplies, and I spend too much time reading way too many articles and books on pregnancy and parenting. But there have been some surprises, too. The biggest one:

Every pregnancy is different. Symptoms vary dramatically from woman to woman. The best ways to deal with those symptoms vary too. The way that we react to challenges, and the way that things affect us over the course of these 10 months—it's all over the map. You can ask for advice from fellow mamas—and you probably should, at least to get some empathy—but ultimately, this journey is yours, and you've got to figure out your best path.

Doctor's visits are pretty painless (at least for the first nine-ish months). I'd always imagined that being pregnant would involve endless doctor's visits with endlessly uncomfortable pelvic exams, but I've been surprised to find that most visits are quite routine—even boring. Blood pressure check, weight check, heartbeat check, any questions? And I'm on my way. My last month of visits will be weekly—and sans clothes, I've been warned—but I'm relieved everything up until now has been so simple.

Some people just love a pregnant woman. Sure, I've gotten the occasional rude comment about my size—that wasn't a surprise. But what I didn't expect was so much genuine joy and curiosity directed at my belly. I mean, there are a lot of pregnant ladies out there. I rarely give them a second glance, myself—never have. But since I started really showing, I've learned that some people will grin broadly when they see me, ask questions (When are you due? Boy or girl?), and sometimes even talk directly to my belly (Hi, baby!). It's impossibly sweet and it always makes me feel good.

Birth plans don't really matter. There's so much talk of birth plans on the internet today that it seems like a crucial part of preparing for baby. A lot of it comes from mommy bloggers who position themselves as experts because they've had a few babies. But you know who the real experts are? Doctors. Nurses. Midwives. They're the ones who will guide you through this crazy, completely unpredictable experience called childbirth, and it doesn't really matter what kind of a la carte birthing experience you've carefully outlined using some template you found online. Talk to your doctor about what you want, then trust them to get you through the process.

Two Days in Porto

It's been nearly a year since our trip to Europe... seems like a good time to share some photos, eh?

Our visit to Porto did not start off well. We flew in from Paris in the morning and had problems with the metro, which led to us missing our meeting with our Airbnb host. By the time we finally got into the city, it was raining hard and we were quickly soaked through to our skivvies. Eventually, we found refuge in a little restaurant next door to the apartment, and the kind waitress poured us each a big glass of wine and let us use her phone to call the host.

A few minutes later, we were checking in to the most beautiful Airbnb we'd ever seen. Massive French doors opened up to a small balcony and a view of the ancient rooftops and the Douro River. We changed into dry clothes and collapsed onto the bed, where we were perfectly content to watch the deluge and drift off into a nap until nightfall, when the rain mercifully began to subside.

Our time in the city was limited to just a couple of days, but Porto is small enough that we were able to get a solid sense of things despite our schedule. These are just a few highlights from our stay.

Francesinhas (and Other Fine Foods). Porto is not a culinary capital, which I'll admit was almost a relief after the sometimes intimidating scene in Paris. Even so, we enjoyed some truly memorable meals in the city, from simple pastries from a quiet bakery to the famous francesinha. You'll find Porto's signature sandwich in restaurants all over the city, each one boasting to have the best. The recipe is the same in most places: Ham, sausage, and steak are sandwiched between two thick slices of bread and topped with cheese, an egg, and a tomato-beer sauce. It's all served on a bed of salty fries, preferably with a tall glass of light beer. We felt terrible after eating it, but I'm so glad we did it. (We had ours at Restaurante Girassol.)

We also stopped by the beautiful Art Deco Majestic Cafe, which is a popular place for coffee and cakes. And we had a traditional Portuguese seafood dinner at the cave-like Adega de San Nicolau, which was tucked away right under our apartment. I really wanted to eat at Book, but we ran out of time.

Aimlessly Wandering. We woke up before dawn and decided to go out in search of a place to watch the sunrise. As it turned out, the city's narrow, winding streets (said to have inspired J.K. Rowling's depiction of Diagon Alley) can really do a number on your sense of direction. While we didn't find an overlook, we did discover some beautiful spots, and we enjoyed watching the city slowly wake from its slumber. We continued our wanderings for the rest of the day, thankful for the bright sunshine after the rain.

A New Perspective. Eventually, we did find the dramatic views we were searching for—first at the Clerigos Tower, then from the Dom Luis Bridge. We also took a cable car ride over the river and the city's famous port factories.

The next morning, we headed to the train station to catch a ride to Lisbon, feeling satisfied with our explorations of Porto. There's a lot we didn't have time to do—like tour the port factories, visit the Crystal Palace Gardens, or explore the Douro wine region and Piscina das Mares—but I'm sure we'll return. The short but sweet stop solidified Portugal's ranking as one of our favorite countries in the world, and I can't wait to go back.

Traveling with Baby: Finding Inspiration from the Pros

There's a lot to worry about when it comes to having a first baby, so it might seem frivolous that one of my concerns has been travel. Will we ever travel again? Will it be enjoyable with kids, or will it be a nightmare? How do you even fly, drive in a foreign country, or eat at a restaurant with a baby? It's seriously unfamiliar territory that seriously stresses me out.

The thing is, I think Todd and I have gotten pretty good at traveling over the last few years, and we've been lucky enough to take some amazing trips. I hate to think that those days could be behind us. In fact, I refuse to accept it—despite what some parents are quick to tell me.

For every parent out there who tells us to kiss our days of fun and travel goodbye, I've found someone else who's making it work—and who's eager to share their tips for successfully traveling with kids. Ultimately, I know we'll have to find our way, and eventually I hope to offer my own voice to this dialogue, but for now, these are the bloggers and posts that are making me believe that we just might be able to have some adventure in our lives—even with a baby in tow.

What kind of crazy person would take two toddlers to Mexico City? Ashley from Hither and Thither, that's who—and probably Todd and I, within the next few years. Whether headed to Italy or Paris, she's honest about the challenges of traveling with kids, but she also offers solid advice for making it work—and even enjoying the experience.

Fact: My life will never be as glamorous and travel-filled as Amber's from Barefoot Blonde. But while she seems to have unlimited vacation time and a travel budget to match, she also offers some valuable insight into seeing the world with babes. I like her attitude on using travel to create stronger, more open-minded kids and to bring the family closer together.

Naomi of Love Taza is one of those perpetually cheerful mommy bloggers that haters love to hate. She's got three little ones, she lives in a shoebox-sized NYC apartment, and she's still always smiling. She also travels often with her brood, and she's created some inspirational videos and posts about their experiences. This one has a lot of useful tips.

This Mother Mag post on traveling to Tulum with a baby inspired what I hope will be one of our first trips with our son. I'm already browsing hotels in Tulum for the winter.

I also love Chelsea's (Lovely Indeed) Tulum travel guide, which has great tips for the area whether you're traveling with a kid or not.

Joanna at Cup of Jo has shared several posts on traveling with kids, including this oldie but goodie on flying with a baby. I also love this guest post on vacationing in Positano with a bunch of kids.

Megan from The Fresh Exchange is a new mom who's inspired me with her travels since long before she was pregnant. Now she's sharing her experiences seeing the world with her baby boy. So much sweetness.

Why Summer Pregnancies Don't Completely Suck

Let's just pretend like this is a picture of me, even though I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini right now.

Often when I tell people that my due date is in late August, I get the same response: a wince, a sympathetic shake of the head, and usually something along the lines of, "It's going to be a long summer for you!"

Of course, I can't help but agree. This summer feels extra hot and sweaty, and I'd give anything to enjoy a nice bottle of crisp wine on the front porch—without living in fear of mosquitos. But it's not all bad. In fact, I think there are a few perks to being pregnant in the summer. Here's what I'm feeling happy about:

• Having a simplified maternity wardrobe. I'm in my third trimester, but still most of my day-to-day wardrobe consists of non-maternity items—extra-long tanks, tees, and elastic-waist skirts. Sure, it's boring, but I'm glad I haven't had to spend a lot of money or time searching for sweaters, coats, and pants that fit my bump. 
• Sandals. Related to the above point, but worthy of its own bullet: I didn't even realize my feet were getting swollen because I've been living in sandals. I tried on a pair of my ballet flats today, and though it was definitely a tight squeeze, I just felt lucky that I have other options this time of year (and I don't have to go out and buy a bunch of new shoes that may not fit in a few months). 
• Summer food. Thanks to the abundance of fresh local veggies and our tendency to grill out, I always eat more healthfully in the summer months than I do in the winter, when I crave mostly carb-heavy comfort food. Granted, ice cream is a major part of my diet these days, but I'm pretty sure I would have gained a lot more weight so far if I'd been pregnant in the colder months.
• More sunshine. Longer days mean I'm more likely to be out and about staying active. I may not be hiking or playing tennis, but I'm moving and that's helping me feel stronger as I approach my due date.
• Looking ahead to summer birthday parties. Yep, our little man isn't even here yet, but I'm already thinking about how fun his birthday parties will be. I myself was a winter baby, and parties at the park or pool just weren't an option.

Baby Boy's Bright, Travel-Inspired Nursery

Baby's Bright Nursery by ericajackson

Baby boy's nursery is already turning out to be a lot brighter than the rest of our house, thanks to a vintage yellow campaign dresser I found on Craigslist. He was still about the size of a peanut when I found it, but I could just imagine the drawers filled with his little cloth diapers and onesies. Here's what else I've got planned:

• The dresser will also serve as his changing table, and I'm leaning toward this Keekaroo changing pad because it can be easily wiped clean and I don't have to mess with fabric covers.
• Cribs can be seriously expensive, but I found this one at Walmart, of all places. I love its midcentury modern look, which fits with the rest of our house, and that it converts into a toddler bed. Plus, it's on sale now, so I got a great deal on it.
• I don't love the look of gliders or rocking chairs, and I wanted something I could use after the baby (or babies) grow up, so I searched for big, comfy chairs that match the rest of our decor at home.
• We're planning some big adventures with our little one, and we're hoping he loves traveling as much as we do. For the art and decorations, we're searching for pieces inspired by our favorite places, like this Lisbon print and Mexican bunting.

My Remote Work Life

Most people I know have no idea what I do for a living—even my close friends and family members. Many seem to think that I don't have a "real" job at all, since I don't go into an office every day, and they struggle to believe that I could have a thriving, fulfilling career without leaving my house.

So here's the truth: I've been working remotely (30-40 hours) for a Boston-based content marketing firm for two years now, plus freelancing for a number of publications and companies on the side. I've had some tempting opportunities for positions that would require me to return to a traditional workplace, but honestly, I don't know if I can go back. I feel grateful every day that I can work when, where, and how I want.

After seven years of working in traditional offices, I was more than ready to make the switch to remote work. I loved my editor jobs at publications in Charleston and Boston, but I always felt trapped and a little bit stifled by the 9-5 grind.

The thing about what I do is, it doesn't really matter where I do it. Writing and editing can be done anywhere with an internet connection, but for me, I do it much better when I can choose the setting and do it on my own terms.

Here's a look at one day this week—a pretty typical day—in case you're curious, or considering making the switch yourself.

• 7:30 a.m. Alarm goes off. I grab my phone and start scrolling through emails, news and social accounts while I wake up. (This is a habit I'm trying to break.)
• 8 a.m. Stumble downstairs, let the dogs out, and make coffee. Now that the weather's warmer, I take my coffee out onto the front porch with my laptop and start planning out my day (I use Stickies on my desktop) and sorting through work emails.
• 9 a.m. I don't have any morning conference calls, so I hop in the shower, get dressed, and walk the dogs up the street to peek in on our renovation project to see how it's progressing, taking pictures for the blog. I then head home, make some scrambled eggs with sliced tomatoes, and decide where I want to work for the morning.
• 10 a.m. I have an office that I share with Todd, but I like to move around when I'm working. Right now, I tend to switch between the front porch and a table on the back patio, since the weather's so nice. I set up my laptop and notebook outside and start working my way through the day's tasks, taking a quick conference call with a New York-based writer at noon.
• 12:15 p.m. We've been in D.C. for the last four days and I haven't had time to grocery shop, so we decide to try a new-to-us deli downtown for lunch. We take our laptops to make it a working lunch but find out they don't have wi-fi. Luckily, we have hotspots on our phones so we keep working for an hour after lunch while watching the action on Grace Street.
• 2 p.m. Todd has a meeting, so we head back to the house and I set up shop with my laptop and iced coffee on the back patio. I work through some editing projects and call in to the Boston office for a company-wide Skype presentation while soaking up the sun and watching the dogs roll around in the grass. 
• 3 p.m. I keep working through my to-do list, but sometimes I'll switch to freelance projects in the late afternoon, depending on my workload and meetings schedule. This usually involves research, phone interviews, writing, and sometimes in-person interviews around Richmond. 
• 5:45 p.m. I force myself to turn off my laptop and do a bit of tidying up around the house while Todd finishes his workday—watering plants, cleaning the kitchen, laundry, and vacuuming. 
• 7:30 p.m. After a walk, dinner, and running some errands, I settle onto the couch for some TV time. I have an article due tomorrow so I work on it while half-watching House of Cards.
• 9:30 p.m. The pregnancy fatigue sets in, so I head upstairs and prep for bed. I read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies until I can't keep my eyes open anymore.

I know this lifestyle isn't for everyone, and I do miss the camaraderie of office life sometimes. Who knows, I may even decide I'm ready to return to it someday. But for now, I'm just happy to have this flexibility—especially with motherhood approaching.

Is remote working something you'd like to try, or do you love going to the office every day?

20 Weeks: Halfway There, Living on a Prayer

Bump's first wedding at 19 weeks.

We usually track pregnancies by trimester, but for me, reaching the halfway point is a lot more significant than making it through the first trimester. The past 20 weeks have been challenging, frustrating, slow-moving, and thrilling all at the same time. Here are some highlights:

The Symptoms. I think I really lucked out in this department—no morning sickness! I did, however, experience quite a bit of general nauseous feelings around mealtimes in my first trimester. Fatigue turned out to be my biggest issue, and I took a daily nap (sometimes more than one) for most of the first trimester—I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I've gotten my energy back, but now I'm experiencing a lot of nasal congestion (especially at night), backaches (especially at night), shortness of breath (stairs kill me!), and occasional heart palpitations (scary, but my doc says it's normal).

Cravings/Aversions. While I didn't puke in my first trimester, there were a couple of close calls when I forced myself to eat something I didn't really want. After that, I decided to listen to my body and follow my cravings and aversions. For the first trimester, I was grossed out by most meat (especially cooking it), eggs, and a lot of vegetables—basically all the healthy stuff I should have been eating. Instead, I was craving carbs, carbs, and more carbs—pasta, French fries, bread, cookies. Basically all the crappy stuff that my body didn't need. Now that I'm further along, I'm craving lots of fresh fruit, Mexican food, and the occasional steak.

Exercising. Yeah. No. I tried working out twice and got weird cramping and bleeding so I stopped. I take walks now.

Dressing the Bump. I grew out of my skinny jeans within the first few weeks, so for my first trimester I lived in yoga pants, loose T-shirts, and baggy boyfriend sweaters. After a few months, I was so sick of feeling like I was walking around in pajamas I started searching for maternity clothes. I ordered a whole bunch of jeans, made a depressing trip to a maternity store in a local mall, and generally bemoaned my weird new body. Luckily, as the bump has grown, I've been able to find a few key pieces that make me feel human and even, some days, a bit cute! I really love these jeans, maxi skirts, and my trusty Madewell tees are still getting a lot of play. (I'm hoping to avoid maternity shirts as much as I can.) Also, I got a haircut and color at 18 weeks and that helped me get out of my frump slump.

The Lowlights. I've been lucky to have things fairly easy, but there have been some tough times along the way. Dealing with the weight gain and changing body image has been hard, especially as some people have made insensitive comments and I've fallen into the trap of comparing my body to other pregnant women's. There have been some serious scares too, including some bleeding that had me rushing to the doctor for an emergency ultrasound (though all was well). It's also tough to find myself suddenly powerless to help in the house-flipping project we're working on. Todd is doing most of the work while I'm sitting on the couch buying light fixtures.

The Highlights. Despite the lows, there have been some really happy moments so far: Hearing baby's heartbeat for the first time. Finding out, to our surprise, that it's a boy! Feeling him move for the first time in the middle of the night and waking Todd up to share. Shopping for clothes, and hanging them up on tiny little hangers in his nursery. Wrestling with strollers at Babies R Us with Todd. Making our news official and getting such wonderful, truly touching congrats from family and friends. 20 weeks to go. Let's do this!

The Quest for Cute Unisex Baby Clothes

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to start shopping, but I was limited to buying unisex clothes until I knew what we were having—and that isn't always an easy task. Most baby stores are clearly divided between "girl" and "boy," and the small unisex section tends to be pretty drab. It took some digging to find things that I liked.

Now that we know we're having a boy, though, I'm finding that I'm still drawn to unisex clothing. Not only are these pieces that I know we can reuse whether our next child is a girl or boy, but I realize that these classic basics I've managed to find so far are more my (and Todd's) style. As our kids get older, of course I'll encourage them to explore their own personal style, but for now, I'll enjoy calling the shots.

If you're in the market for unisex baby clothes—whether you're not sure what you're having yet or they're simply what you prefer—here are some of my favorites so far.

The Elephant in the Room

When Todd and I decided we were ready to start our family in the summer of 2014, I ordered a little stuffed elephant on a whim. I placed it on a shelf in our living room, where it became a symbol of hope for our future child.

As the months passed, we continued to wait, our disappointment and frustration growing. Eventually, our elephant in the room came to represent something else entirely: Our failure to be able to do something that seems so simple for so many people, and our fear that, no matter how hard we tried, it may never happen for us.

It was two days before Christmas when we got the gift we'd been waiting so long for: a positive pregnancy test. Sitting in front of the Christmas tree, we watched in disbelief as the double lines appeared, and there were a few minutes when all we could do was stare as the wonderful reality sank in.

I took a test every day over the course of the next week, and placed them all — each one progressively darker — in the elephant's tiny arms.

Today, the elephant sits in its rightful place in our baby boy's nursery, waiting for his arrival. We still have a lot to do to prepare over the next six months, but baby's first toy will be more than ready to welcome him to the world.

P.S. I shared a bit more about our infertility journey with The Washington Post. Check it out here.

5 Things I Loved About Paris... and What I Wish I'd Done Differently

There's a reason Paris is the No. 1 tourist destination in the world: The city is breathtaking, with some of the most incredible food, architecture, shopping, and culture you'll find anywhere. I've been hoarding photos from our September trip, waiting for a rainy day to sift through them and get nostalgic. Here's what I loved most about our trip, and what I wish we'd done differently.

1. We ate well and often. We didn't have a bad meal in Paris. I did my research and had a list of places that I wanted to visit, but more often than not we trusted our instincts and enjoyed some truly memorable meals throughout the city. We started most days with cafe and croissants, ate a whole lot of croque monsieurs, and when we got tired, we stopped for wine, pastries, espresso, or ice cream.

2. We stayed in an apartment. Because we were in Paris for over a week, we knew we wanted to at least pretend to have the experience of living there. We wanted to go to the market and cook dinner in our kitchen, to lounge in our living room, and watch the world go by from our balcony. Our fifth-floor walk-up in the Latin Quarter was a fun place to call home.

3. We didn't let the weather get us down. I don't know if it was just the time of year, but we got a lot of sudden rainstorms during our trip. So many, in fact, that we often found ourselves literally running from the rain (and more than once, we didn't make it). While we had our share of sunny days too, we made the most of the gloomy ones by strapping on our rain gear, heading out to explore, and ducking into shops and cafes when things got really wet.

4. We biked to Pere Lachaise cemetery. This was one of my favorite things we did in Paris. While the first part of the trip was dicey by bike (see below), as we got closer to the famous cemetery, the streets got narrower, quieter, and more typically Parisian. Inside the gates, the cemetery was showing the first signs of fall. I couldn't take enough pictures.

5. We wandered at night. Paris can get frantic during the day, especially in the major tourist zones. But after dark, the city takes on an otherworldly quality. We walked the grounds of the deserted Louvre, found a brass band practicing along the Seine, and slipped into boisterous cafes to share the evening with Parisians. Our late-night wanderings meant we didn't see much of Paris in the morning, but je ne regrette rien.

OK, maybe that's not entirely true. There are a few things I wish we'd done differently, like...

I wish we'd skipped the Eiffel Tower. We visited the tower and even went to the top on our first trip to Paris years ago. This time, the visit felt more obligatory, and we found ourselves frustrated by the hordes of tourists crawling around the grounds. There was also a lot of construction going on around the tower, so we got caught in a bottleneck trying to get there. If you ask me, it's just as enjoyable—if not more so—to take in the view from other vantage points throughout the city.

I wish we'd stayed in Le Marais. I chose our apartment in the Latin Quarter because it was central, and rented a place in Montmartre at the end of our trip. But I really wish we'd just gotten an apartment in Le Marais. This medieval neighborhood is by far my favorite in the city, with some of the coolest shops and restaurants we ran across. Every day I found myself wanting to return there over other areas, and wishing we could begin and end our days on its colorful winding streets.

I wish I'd mastered Velib. I had visions of zipping around Paris on an adorable Velib bike, but here's the truth: It was terrifying. Paris is a massive city with some insane drivers, and somehow we kept finding ourselves trying to navigate the most high-traffic areas during the busiest times of day. More than once I jumped off the bike in frustration and refused to ride it any further, which in turn frustrated Todd. I still think if we'd stuck to the quieter arrondisements, I would have fared better.

I wish we hadn't eaten out so much. I almost can't believe I'm admitting this, but we got a little burnt out by eating out in Paris. French food is decadent and rich, and it's also expensive—we spent $50 on lunch more than once, and much more on dinners. By the end, I was dying for a salad or some grilled veggies. I wish we'd cooked more in the apartment and had some simple picnics. I also wish we'd branched out more into other cuisines—one of our favorite meals was at a hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese place in Montmartre.

I wish we'd day-tripped. In all, we were in Paris for nine days. And while there was plenty to keep us busy for much longer than that, I wish we had hopped on a train and experienced some other parts of France. Paris is exhilarating and inspiring, but it can also be overwhelming in its scale, and it would have been nice to take a breather in a smaller village or a chateau in the countryside.

That said, I'd go back in a heartbeat. Thinking of visiting yourself? Check out my blog post on seven great Airbnbs in Paris, plus my Paste magazine round-up of 10 more.